Dear Blackwithers,
Whilst making up the numbers for a mixed foursome at Chuffington Golf Club on Boxing Day I sliced a shot on the seventh. As the ground was, as our friends in the racing fraternity call it, "good to soft", I can only put my foul disposition down to an ill considered double wager concerning Kauto Star winning the King George for an unprecedented fifth time and the demise of Prince Phillip. The object of my aggression veered to the left at a trajectory of approximately 18 degrees whilst the resulting divot disappeared to my right. After a short search, curtailed by an encroaching foursome with Masonic tendencies, I continued with my sport.
Later in the day as I relaxed in front, and slightly to the right, of the television, my attention was drawn to a contestant on the misnamed "Celebrity Mastermind". A Mr. Steven Harley, being neither celebrity nor mastermind, appeared to have found the small piece of turf I accidentally excavated from the seventh.
If Mr. Harley would be so kind as to return the aforementioned sod to Chuffington I will personally reward him with tea and biscuits, especially, as I believe Mr. Harley is a musician, if he brings his trumpet.
Yours faithfully,
Judith Teen, Lady Captain.
Friday, 30 December 2011
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
ken russell
It is with great sadness that we heard of the passing of Ken Russell one of Britain's finest film directors.
Let it not be forgotten that Ken drew his inspiration for the classic scene in "Women In Love" from our very own Blackwithers Sunday Afternoon Session where he was a regular.
In the movie Alan Bates and Oliver Reed wrestle naked in front of a roaring hearth. This Sunday, in the snug, we present Richard "Heyho" Flint verses The Gisburn Grappler and our ever popular audience participation "tag" match with talented amateur Little Nev (who's a bit of a greasy customer, let me tell you!)
All this for £5 including pie, peas, gravy and a blessing from the Bishop of Bispham and Cleveleys.
Please note: due to the increased electricity prices and a slump in the sale of pork scratchings after the appearance of Phil "Coconut" Shaw, two bars instead of the usual three will be used on the log effect fire.
In tribute to Mr. Russell music from his film "Tommy", based on the life of WW2 soldier Tommy Atkins and based on the concept album by George Formby, will be played during the pies.
Let it not be forgotten that Ken drew his inspiration for the classic scene in "Women In Love" from our very own Blackwithers Sunday Afternoon Session where he was a regular.
In the movie Alan Bates and Oliver Reed wrestle naked in front of a roaring hearth. This Sunday, in the snug, we present Richard "Heyho" Flint verses The Gisburn Grappler and our ever popular audience participation "tag" match with talented amateur Little Nev (who's a bit of a greasy customer, let me tell you!)
All this for £5 including pie, peas, gravy and a blessing from the Bishop of Bispham and Cleveleys.
Please note: due to the increased electricity prices and a slump in the sale of pork scratchings after the appearance of Phil "Coconut" Shaw, two bars instead of the usual three will be used on the log effect fire.
In tribute to Mr. Russell music from his film "Tommy", based on the life of WW2 soldier Tommy Atkins and based on the concept album by George Formby, will be played during the pies.
Monday, 28 November 2011
National awareness day
Due to constant lobbying by Blackwithers regulars the Charity Commision has now designated Dec.11th as National No Neck Awareness Day.
We hope to bring to the attention of members of the public the plight of people with no necks and the problems they encounter in their everyday lives.
Please join us by wearing a tie around your head on Dec. 11th. You are sure to be the talking point in your place of work or public house. You may even attract the attention of strangers in the street, all of which helps raise awareness of National No Neck Day.
(National No Neck Awareness Day will also be sponsering the 1.40pm race at Wincanton on Dec. 11th). Thank you for your support.
We hope to bring to the attention of members of the public the plight of people with no necks and the problems they encounter in their everyday lives.
Please join us by wearing a tie around your head on Dec. 11th. You are sure to be the talking point in your place of work or public house. You may even attract the attention of strangers in the street, all of which helps raise awareness of National No Neck Day.
(National No Neck Awareness Day will also be sponsering the 1.40pm race at Wincanton on Dec. 11th). Thank you for your support.
Monday, 12 September 2011
A Bit Crap Then
Rubbish plate spinner...dubious Scrabble word.....Pendle's Got No Talent....no finds in dig....All A Bit Crap Then.
Metal Detecting
Blackwithers regular Arthur Tussle (Canadian Club, no ice) has once again turned up trumps with his metal detecting.
Whilst recently visiting his local branch of Morrison's in Halifax his metal detector (Viking 5), discovered an astounding array of tin cans. As Arthur doesn't own the land (and is a bit of a stickler for the rules!) he offered to go halves with the store manager, who, in turn, offered to call the local constabulary. Arthur parried with the information that a well known breakfast cereal had failed to trigger his Viking 5 despite allegedly having a high iron content.
At this point a Mystery Shopper, who had been admiring the display of organic beetroot, intervened. Arthur was escorted off the premises but not before insisting that the manager re-emburse him for the pound coin lodged in his trolley. Well done Arthur!
(Arthur's biggest find to date has been the perfectly preserved fuselage of a Messerschmitt 109-E that had been gathering dust in The Imperial War museum, London.)
Whilst recently visiting his local branch of Morrison's in Halifax his metal detector (Viking 5), discovered an astounding array of tin cans. As Arthur doesn't own the land (and is a bit of a stickler for the rules!) he offered to go halves with the store manager, who, in turn, offered to call the local constabulary. Arthur parried with the information that a well known breakfast cereal had failed to trigger his Viking 5 despite allegedly having a high iron content.
At this point a Mystery Shopper, who had been admiring the display of organic beetroot, intervened. Arthur was escorted off the premises but not before insisting that the manager re-emburse him for the pound coin lodged in his trolley. Well done Arthur!
(Arthur's biggest find to date has been the perfectly preserved fuselage of a Messerschmitt 109-E that had been gathering dust in The Imperial War museum, London.)
Monday, 1 August 2011
royal wedding
Phew! Now that the Royal Wedding party has departed we are pleased to announce that our annex is now available until the end of August. All mod-cons and within walking distance of the public bar and toilets.
Thursday, 28 July 2011
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