shut it

Go boil yr head.

Toilet humour

   After the raid on Bin Laden's compound the American's said they were looking for Bin Laden's "Number 2". Now they say they are looking for his "Golden Chain"(?). How many bathrooms can a million dollar house have? Does explain the price tag though.

blackwithers bed and breakfast

One for Archie

Me old mucker Archie Sunblest is always looking for after dinner speakers. He's one for yer roster Archie! From Th' Nelson Leader.

Readers' Wives

Thanks to Jeff Mutton for sending in this lovely photo of his girlfriend Sarah taken on a day trip to Slaidburn.

Bin Laden?

Well there I was queuing for me holiday snaps in Supersnaps (they're a bit more obliging than Boots when it comes to photos of a delicate nature) when I got talking to the bloke behind me. As he was of African decent I presumed he was lost but no it turns out it's President Obama from the Americas. He was waiting to get his birth certificate photocopied so that he could buy some fags for his mam.
That's what he told me anyway but when I got home and looked at me snaps it seems I'd been given the wrong 'uns. I initially thought that it was a photo of CIA operative and Blackwater employee Chuck Watson that had been altered using a green tea teabag and Mexican salsa (both available from Home Bargains) but NO! Turns out that these are the Photos of Bin Laden after being shot! By seals! In a million dollar mansion! Before being buried at sea!(Osama Bin Laden being an anagram of "lob da man in sea"!). I could be sitting on a fortune here. Suggestions please.